HIGHLIGHTS OF THE COLBERT REPORT: JANUARY 9-11

• Apple Comuputers gets a Double Wag of Stephen's Finger for changing their name to Apple Inc. and for something else I can't remember
• Stephen treats all the states like his children except Massachusetts which is a gay adopted child
• Bill O'Reilly(Papa Bear) and Stephen will appear on each other's shows January 18.
• Stephen believed Bush should send 300 Million Americans to Iraq(WORD-Texas Hold Em) except for the gays who will stay and redecorate.