TCM'S SUMMER UNDER THE STARS: PART ONE

Since 2003, my favorite channel, Turner Classic Movies has dedicated the month of August as the Summer Under the Stars. One classic star for 24 hours with a mixture of their best known and loved roles plus some hidden gems. My DVR has nearly exploded this month. Just wait until the 20th. We are now at the halfway mark.

August 1 (Elizabeth Taylor): I've seen most of the films that were shown including National Velvet (cute), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Brick was totally gay), Suddenly Last Summer (watch the last 20 minutes on an empty stomach), and A Place in the Sun (I'm sorry, but when she says "Tell Mama" I burst out laughing). I only DVR'd one film, Cynthia, made in 1947. It's a chance to see a young Taylor before she became a huge star.

August 2 (Peter O'Toole): I missed the premiere of Becket! Rats! Fortunately, there will be repeat airings. Already saw Lawrence of Arabia (DO NOT watch it on a small screen). DVR'd The Sandpiper which was an Elizabeth Taylor movie. They said he had a uncredited role as a voice on a phone. I watched about 20 minutes then I FF to the end of the film. O'Toole had several premieres of his films including one where he was in love with his sister!!

August 3 (Joan Crawford): Saw or didn't care about her daytime films including Mildred Pierce, Possessed, Rain, and Above Suspicion. She had several premieres that evening including Harriet Craig (boy, she was a major bitch in that one!), Autumn Leaves (nice love story), Berserk!, and the infamous Trog!

August 4 (William Holden): I did DVR Meet the Stewart's (cute comedy about newlyweds), Arizona (okay western), and Miss Grant Takes Richmond (Lucille Ball before I Love Lucy). After five aborted attempts, I finally watched part of The Bridge on the River Kwai.

August 5 (James Stewart): Jimmy! Jimmy! I have seen most of his films that aired on the fifth, but after several tries, I saw The Naked Spur! TRIVIA: Stewart is the only one to have a day dedicated to him on all 5 SUTS.

August 6 (Robert Mitchum): Didn't get to watch anything even El Dorado! WAAAAAHHHHHH!

August 7 (Jane Russell): Not again! NOTE: This means I didn't get to see anything.

August 8 (Dana Andrews): Who cares about anything else! I got to see The Best Years of Our Lives again!!

August 9 (Myrna Loy): Happy Birthday Mom! She really wanted to see all six Thin Man movies, but it's on DVD, so I might buy her the set for XMas. DVR: Lonelyhearts (meh).

August 10 (Vincent Price): Saw The Pit and the Pendulum in high school. Not half-bad. DVR: The Abominable Dr. Phibes and Theatre of Blood (can't critique until I see them)

August 11 (Doris Day): I've seen most of the movies shown today.

August 12 (Alan Ladd): Wait a second, Ladd was in Citizen Kane! Another day of no films I want to see.

August 13 (June Allyson): Much better. DVR: Good News (haven't seen it yet), The Bride Goes Wild (funny), her Private Screenings interview with TCM host Robert Osborne, and You Can't Run Away from It (musical remake of It Happened One Night).

August 14 (Ernest Borgnine): DVR: Season of Passion (haven't seen it yet).

August 15 (Joan Bennett): DVR: The Woman in the Window (I have wanted to see this for a long time), and The Woman on the Beach. Watched some of Father of the Bride and its sequel, Father's Little Dividend (both hysterically funny).

Well, that's it for me. If you want to see any of these films or check out the SUTS schedules, please go to the website TCM.com

THE COLBERT REPORT: AUGUST 9, 2007

WRIST STRONG!: It's on sale at Comedy Central! For five bucks! Plus shipping and handling! Screw this, I'll try to get a freebie first. Stephen went to the CBS studio and gave Katie Couric a WRIST STRONG bracelet personally and she promised him she would wear it during her broadcast. Cut to 5:30 (central time)...WTF?!! You evil bitch! You made Stephen cry!! First leaving the Today show, now this!!!! That's it, you ma'am, are ON NOTICE!!!

THE WORD IS...CLARITY: Hey wasn't that a WORD on a previous TCR. I checked, it was! Oh well. Rudy Giuliani, you never cease to amaze me.

JUDD APATOW: Stephen has seen none of his movies. Apatow is a nice guy because he is going to give WRIST STRONG bracelets to all the famous people he sees.

THE DAILY SHOW: AUGUST 9, 2007

BUSH IN HIS OWN WORDS: Fox News Neil Cavuto interviewed President Bush. I'm surprised Cavuto didn't make out with him.

THE FIGHTIN' ROMNEYS: Oh, those Romney brothers. There so crazy! They have a bag of Ruffles! That is so hot!

TAL-BEN SHAHAR: I didn't watch his interview. Sorry!

THE COLBERT REPORT: AUGUST 8, 2007

WRIST STRONG!: It reminds you have a wrist!

BEARS AND BALLS: We have growth market potential in China! Invested in the Olympics! If that's not your cup of green tea try bootlegging unauthorized Harry Potter titles! Button says YES!

TINA BROWN: She also has an injured left wrist! I loved the soft focus for her interview. See, Stephen can do classy interviews. Eat it, Barbara Walters!

THE DAILY SHOW: AUGUST 8, 2007

ABOUT TIME!: Barry Bonds hit home run 756. Everyone knew it happened including Rob Riggle who had a pretty adventurous weekend full of coyotes and other things. What the hell happened out there Riggle! I want to know!

MESS O'POTAMIA: Our dear government lost nearly 200,000 weapons. Everytime I think they cannot get any dumber, they surprise me.

THE HENRY STOPS HERE: Awesome, Buck Henry reporting about Rupert Murdoch's purchase of the Wall Street Journal! He was right about Murdoch being a nice guy because if anyone tried to criticize Pulitzer or Hearst, they would be beaten to death with their mother's bodies!

JOE BIDEN: That Tulane joke was a little harsh, man.

THE COLBERT REPORT: AUGUST 7, 2007

THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT...IN BED: Love those fortune cookie jokes.



DAILY KOS: According to Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, the DailyKos, a liberal blog, is like the KKK. That's right, he compared them to the Klan.



BETTER KNOW A PROTECTORATE...SAMOA!: Facts about delegate Eni Faleomavaega (I got it right!): he did not blow up the nuclear bomb!

IAN BOGOST: The video game designer who blogged about a future (now infamous) interview between Stephen Colbert and....who is it? Find out when it (if ever) airs!!

P.S. You probably already know.

THE DAILY SHOW: AUGUST 7, 2007

CLUSTERF%*K TO THE WHITE HOUSE: Florida Representative Bob Allen was caught offering money to an undercover officer for oral sex. You know what his defense was....racist remarks! He had a million of them!

CAPE WIND: Jason Jones reported about environmentalists wanting to installing wind machines (which will help clean the air) in Nantucket and the rich folk who believe the machines will block their view. At least is how I interpreted it.

ANDY SAMBERG: The SNL star did okay in his interview. Nothing much else to say about that.

THE COLBERT REPORT: AUGUST 2, 2007

INTERVENTION: The "Smarties" Stephen is taking is causing him to become more paranoid by the minute. A superhighway connecting Canada and Mexico. Moose Tacos!

MEG!: What a lovely tribute to Ingmar Bergman. Oh, suffering and longing!

THE DAILY SHOW: AUGUST 2, 2007

WHAT TO GET CHENEY FOR XMAS: A silver deathbox. Cash or credit?

INDECISION 2008 FOOD EDITION: Barak Obama hosted a contest where three people would have dinner with them. If I had won, I would not ask him if he watched Lil' Bush. I watched one episode and hated it. Although, there is something oddly endearing about Lil' Cheney.

MATT DAMON: What a great guest. Anyone who has Jon belly-laughing is all right in my book.

THE COLBERT REPORT: AUGUST 1, 2007

WRIST WATCH: Stephen brought out his doctor, Jerry Vizzone, to explain that Stephen will recover from his life-altering wrist injury. Vizzone entered and exited with his own cheerleading surgeon team.

THE WORD is...COLLEGE CREDIT: Maybe we should put college education in a market-based system. It will be based on three levels: Marketable (Business, Engineering, Science, whatever pro footballers major in), Non-Marketable (History), and You Know this is Hurting Your Parents (Classics, Comparative Lit). I was a Communications Major so I guess I am in the Marketable level. WOO HOO!

THE DAILY SHOW: AUGUST 1, 2007

HE'S BACK: Donald Rumsfeld returned to Congress to give testimony in the Pat Tillman case, and he's still got it! He denied everything. Ah, memories on the corners of my mind...

THE SCARIEST PICTURE EVER!: Cheney's smile. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

SUB-PRIME MARKET: I learned that if you have Oprah as your co-signer on a loan, you will be approved.

JED BABBIN: Still engrossed in Pough's hotness to listen.

THE COLBERT REPORT: JULY 31, 2007

SMARTIES: As how Vicodin tastes like to Stephen. How hard was it to watch all those wrist injuries on screen?! I had successfully blocked that scene in"The Fly" from my brain. Now all those horrible memories have returned. DAMMIT!!!!

STEPHEN'S REAL ESTATE ADVICE: The main story was that Russia has claimed the North Pole as theirs. Christmas is in jeopardy. Our children will be drunk of their minds by 8 a.m. Christmas morning. As Stephen said, we must send our reserve of hermit crabs to bring Christmas back to America!

THE WORD is...SPECIAL PROSECUTOR: Alberto Gonzales, I implore you, please STFU. You will not win, everyone thinks you are a liar. In fact, there is documented proof that you have lied to everyone!

KATHLEEN KENNEDY TOWNSEND: Townsend is also one of eleven children like Stephen is, but she cannot say their names faster than he can.

THE DAILY SHOW: JULY 31, 2007

NOME!: Alaskan senator and Internet-tubes coiner Ted Stevens had his home raided by the FBI. I loved the before/after shots of Stevens with a suit overfilled with money.

LIVE EARTH CONCERT: Aasif Mandvi exposed the hypocrisy of these save-the-world concerts. BTW, who is this nutty bitch? I bet she had a sampling of some certain leaves. Most people did not go to Live Earth to raise awareness, as one guy said, he was there for "babes, booze, and Bon Jovi."

HELLO!: Oh, Mr. Lewis Gordon Pough, how nice you look in your tight Speedo. Plus, you're foreign?! Your hotness just envelops the TV. I'm sorry where was I?