This show has been on 14 years? Damn! Back to the show, when we last left ER, Neela was being trampled to death at an anti-war rally. At first, no one knows what happened to her or where she is.
The new ER chief, Dr. Kevin Moretti couldn't handle the mass trauma. He ordered Pratt and Morris not to treat patients because they had one sip of beer before the traumas came in. Not a good time to do this, Moretti! Fortunately, the duo tested their blood alcohol levels which came back normal.
Back to Neela, she was eventually transported to the ER with massive internal injuries. At first, she was conscious, but went into shock soon after. She needed immediate surgery. While they were operating, she bled out liters of blood (damn, that was a lot!), but they were able to save her.
The "bomb" wasn't a bomb at all. Some dude was playing with firecrackers. His negligence led to the death of a teenage girl. Also his death by the girl's despondent grandfather who choked the man to death.
I hope next week ER takes it a bit easy. I need a rest!
Friday, September 28, 2007
THE OFFICE: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 27, 2007
Let's get this out of the way: MICHAEL HIT CO-WORKER MEREDITH WITH HIS CAR! As it turns out, the accident might be a good thing because Meredith had been exposed to rabies-she had been bitten by a bat, rat, and raccoon. Damn! Michael organizes the really long name for a charity run I can't remember. Poor Pam has to answer the phone saying that line. Apparently, Andy has sensitive nipples and he tapes them for safety. Kevin runs in work clothes and Stanley, Oscar, and Creed go out to eat.
Meanwhile, Dwight euthanized Angela's beloved cat, Mr. Sprinkles. This does not bode well for their relationship.
Jim and Pam are together!! YEA!!
Meanwhile, Dwight euthanized Angela's beloved cat, Mr. Sprinkles. This does not bode well for their relationship.
Jim and Pam are together!! YEA!!
MY NAME IS EARL: SEASON 3 PREMIERE-SEPT 27, 2007
Poor Earl, last season he took the rap for ex-wife Joy, who was on her third strike. He was sentenced to two years in prison. Earl wants to keep a low profile, but finds it difficult. Some of the guys he wronged are in the slammer, too. Particularly, Glenn who has violated parole many times. Everyone is sick of him and his antics. Earl remembered when he got Glenn to break into someone's house and Glenn was punished for it. Glenn then turned to a life of crime. Time for The List to come out and play!
Earl discovers Glenn doesn't want to get out of prison because of the way everyone looks at him when he becomes a civilian. Glenn gets upset and breaks the law. Plus he blames Earl Hickey for his downfall. After a few scuffles (and stabbing), Glenn admits to Earl he wants to get his final two badges for his Honor Sash-Archeology and Natural Sciences. The duo make a few deals with other inmates and Glenn gets his badges. Now on the outside (with scout uniform), people aren't scared of Glenn anymore (though they may think he was a little weird with the uniform).
Meanwhile, to pay back Earl for his sacrifice, Joy takes care of Randy. Just watch those segments-hilarious!
P.S. The county of Camden created their own Boy Scout troop after being kicked out of the national one. Piece it together.
Earl discovers Glenn doesn't want to get out of prison because of the way everyone looks at him when he becomes a civilian. Glenn gets upset and breaks the law. Plus he blames Earl Hickey for his downfall. After a few scuffles (and stabbing), Glenn admits to Earl he wants to get his final two badges for his Honor Sash-Archeology and Natural Sciences. The duo make a few deals with other inmates and Glenn gets his badges. Now on the outside (with scout uniform), people aren't scared of Glenn anymore (though they may think he was a little weird with the uniform).
Meanwhile, to pay back Earl for his sacrifice, Joy takes care of Randy. Just watch those segments-hilarious!
P.S. The county of Camden created their own Boy Scout troop after being kicked out of the national one. Piece it together.
GREY'S ANATOMY: SEASON 4 PREMIERE-SEPT 27, 2007
Blah, blah, blah, Burke's gone, blah, blah, blah, Gizzie said "I love you", blah, blah, blah Mer-Der broke up and then had hot sex. blah, blah, blah.
THE END
THE END
UGLY BETTY: SEASON 2 PREMIERE-SEPT 27, 2007
I tried to watch this show, but couldn't get invested in it. So recapping the season finale, Amanda found out someone named Fey was her mom, Betty's future brother-in-law was shot in a convenience store robbery, and Betty and Henry(?) couldn't be together because he may have gotten his skanky girlfriend pregnant.
Season premiere: Amanda suspected the head of the company, Bradford, was her daddy. Betty mourned Henry. Sadly, Santos( future bro-in-law) did die in the robbery.
Sorry, I don't watch this show.
Season premiere: Amanda suspected the head of the company, Bradford, was her daddy. Betty mourned Henry. Sadly, Santos( future bro-in-law) did die in the robbery.
Sorry, I don't watch this show.
WITHOUT A TRACE: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 27, 2007
Why is the show in Africa right now? I think I'll switch over to ER.
CRIMINAL MINDS: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 26, 2007
Mandy Patankin may or may not kill himself. Tune in next week! WHAT?!
LIFE: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 26, 2007
Charlie Crews was wrongfully convicted for murder. Charlie in prison: 1995-2007. NBC's Life: 2007-2007.
BIONIC WOMAN: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 26, 2007
One of the most anticipated shows premiered Wednesday-a new take on the Bionic Woman. Jaime Sommers is a 24-year-old bartender who has recently discovered that she is pregnant by her boyfriend of five months. Okay, why did the writers throw a pregnancy in the pilot? Five minutes later the duo are in a car accident where Jaime's legs, arm, eye, and ear have to be replaced. Oh, and she has a miscarriage! Again, why?! That's when I changed the channel only to come back for the kick-ass fight between Jaime and Bionic Woman #1. Apparently, some people liked it, but not me.
DIRTY SEXY MONEY: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 26, 2007
I think I have found my new show, but let's get to the premise first.
Nick George didn't want to be anything like his father, Dutch. Dutch was attorney extraordinaire for the Darlings, one of the richest families in the world. Although, Nick did become a lawyer like dear old dad, he does work for the less fortunate (or less rich). All that changes when Dutch is killed in a plane crash. At the funeral, we meet the Darlings: patriarch Tripp (the awesomeness that is Donald Sutherland), mom Leticia, NY attorney general Patrick (who has to get Nick in to his own father's funeral!), Karen (Nick's first love), rocker Jeremy, bad actress Juliet, and dickhead Brian-who's a reverend!
A few days later, Tripp offers Nick five million(!) a year plus benefits to replace his dad as the Darlings' attorney. Nick turns down that offer and makes it 10 mil a year! Then Nick gets himself into quite a mess: Karen's pining for him, Brian has illegitimate child, Tripp paid to get Juliet into a play (she later tries to take her own life), and Patrick is dating a tranny. Another fun-filled day with the Darlings!
I love this show! The Darling family are hilarious!
Nick George didn't want to be anything like his father, Dutch. Dutch was attorney extraordinaire for the Darlings, one of the richest families in the world. Although, Nick did become a lawyer like dear old dad, he does work for the less fortunate (or less rich). All that changes when Dutch is killed in a plane crash. At the funeral, we meet the Darlings: patriarch Tripp (the awesomeness that is Donald Sutherland), mom Leticia, NY attorney general Patrick (who has to get Nick in to his own father's funeral!), Karen (Nick's first love), rocker Jeremy, bad actress Juliet, and dickhead Brian-who's a reverend!
A few days later, Tripp offers Nick five million(!) a year plus benefits to replace his dad as the Darlings' attorney. Nick turns down that offer and makes it 10 mil a year! Then Nick gets himself into quite a mess: Karen's pining for him, Brian has illegitimate child, Tripp paid to get Juliet into a play (she later tries to take her own life), and Patrick is dating a tranny. Another fun-filled day with the Darlings!
I love this show! The Darling family are hilarious!
PRIVATE PRACTICE: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 26, 2007
Dr. Addison Montgomery-Shepard-Montgomery moved to L.A. and she likes to walk around the house naked. Skip it.
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 27, 2007
KING TUT: was not black, he was gold.
DAMN, NAILED!: At a recent debate, Tim Russert asked Hilary what she thought of an unknowns comment about how to handle torture. She disagreed with what this person said, and then Russert dropped the bomb-the statement was made by Bill Clinton! After regaining her composure, Hilary said she would discuss the matter at home. I think Clintons talk about torture as foreplay. What else would turn them on to each other.
THE WORD IS...EARLY IMMUNIZATION: why can't anyone give free health care to children!
WHO WEARING...STEPHEN'S WRISTRONG BRACELET?!: Why Neil Cavuto, Adrian Grenier (aka Vincent Chase-he's Aquaman!), Seth Rogen, and Bill Clinton touched it!
DAVID SCHWARTZ: I finally got to see the infamous "Daisy" ad. I don't know what to think of it. Plus, Adalai Stevenson had his own Obama girl.
DAMN, NAILED!: At a recent debate, Tim Russert asked Hilary what she thought of an unknowns comment about how to handle torture. She disagreed with what this person said, and then Russert dropped the bomb-the statement was made by Bill Clinton! After regaining her composure, Hilary said she would discuss the matter at home. I think Clintons talk about torture as foreplay. What else would turn them on to each other.
THE WORD IS...EARLY IMMUNIZATION: why can't anyone give free health care to children!
WHO WEARING...STEPHEN'S WRISTRONG BRACELET?!: Why Neil Cavuto, Adrian Grenier (aka Vincent Chase-he's Aquaman!), Seth Rogen, and Bill Clinton touched it!
DAVID SCHWARTZ: I finally got to see the infamous "Daisy" ad. I don't know what to think of it. Plus, Adalai Stevenson had his own Obama girl.
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 27, 2007
"CHILDRENS DO LEARN:" Bushie strikes again!
CONGRESS AND HIP-HOP: Dear Congress, please do not ever talk like that again.
LARRY WILMORE AT SYLVIA'S: "Papa Bear" O'Reilly recently dined at Sylvia's restaurant where he discovered that this African-American restaurant is just like all the other restaurants. SHOCKER! Wilmore totally nailed him and got a good meal out of it.
KEN BURNS: Man, I am depressed after this interview. Anyway, keep up the good work, Ken!
CONGRESS AND HIP-HOP: Dear Congress, please do not ever talk like that again.
LARRY WILMORE AT SYLVIA'S: "Papa Bear" O'Reilly recently dined at Sylvia's restaurant where he discovered that this African-American restaurant is just like all the other restaurants. SHOCKER! Wilmore totally nailed him and got a good meal out of it.
KEN BURNS: Man, I am depressed after this interview. Anyway, keep up the good work, Ken!
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 26, 2007
YOU OWE US!: The Canadian loonie is worth more than the U.S. dollar, or oot performing. Well, we will just sue Canada for copyright infringement. That adds up to $905 billion dollars (pay us in Canadian, please).
THE WORD IS...A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS: NBC has opted not to renew their contract with ITunes. Instead they will release NBC Direct, a free downloading service. Just pray to God your computer doesn't time itself out. Like when I was trying to post this.
UNITY '08 WITH SAM WATERSTON!: I'm sorry, but the guy kicks ass! The volcano experiment was hilarious! Poor Kansas!
BENNNNETTTTT!!!!!!!!: The man, the myth, the legendary Emmy-stealer. He paints too? Can I have that Cary Grant? Oh, what a beautiful duet!
THE WORD IS...A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS: NBC has opted not to renew their contract with ITunes. Instead they will release NBC Direct, a free downloading service. Just pray to God your computer doesn't time itself out. Like when I was trying to post this.
UNITY '08 WITH SAM WATERSTON!: I'm sorry, but the guy kicks ass! The volcano experiment was hilarious! Poor Kansas!
BENNNNETTTTT!!!!!!!!: The man, the myth, the legendary Emmy-stealer. He paints too? Can I have that Cary Grant? Oh, what a beautiful duet!
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 26, 2007
FLAT: As in the elaborate Morales (my Brazilian friend!) joke. It took to long.
BACK IN BLACK: There is nothing as disgusting as people who pretend to be veterans for free health care.
JAMIE FOXX: Not much to say here, but the two played nicely off each other.
BACK IN BLACK: There is nothing as disgusting as people who pretend to be veterans for free health care.
JAMIE FOXX: Not much to say here, but the two played nicely off each other.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
LAW AND ORDER SVU: SEASON 9 PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
Former Sex and the City star Cynthia Nixon guest starred on the SVU season premiere. The fallout from Fin''s nephew's trial continued as Benson was suspended and Cragen was temporarily reassigned. Who should step in as the head of SVU? Why Munch, of course. Wait, hold on a second, Munch, really? Even he was hesitant to step up.
Anyway, back to the Nixon, she played a woman with multiple personalities who may have harmed her child. I completely bought into her five distinct people-an angry Russian, a guy, a little girl, a psychiatrist, and a cocky young woman. So color me disappointed when-SPOILER ALERT-it was all an act to kill her abusive parents along with little sis. Why did they have to go this route!
BTW, Cragen was reinstated after that small debacle.
Anyway, back to the Nixon, she played a woman with multiple personalities who may have harmed her child. I completely bought into her five distinct people-an angry Russian, a guy, a little girl, a psychiatrist, and a cocky young woman. So color me disappointed when-SPOILER ALERT-it was all an act to kill her abusive parents along with little sis. Why did they have to go this route!
BTW, Cragen was reinstated after that small debacle.
REAPER: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
Another miss, but the idea of the devil's bounty hunter and his sidekick does sound interesting.
HOUSE: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
House tries to solve a case by himself. Result: mistaken identity and the search for a new team.
BONES: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
Missed this one too. Supposedly, there is going to be a serial killer/cannibal this season. Now, continue enjoying your dinner.
CANE: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
There are too many premieres tonight!!! A few shows must suffer. I'm only one person plus I missed Damages! ACK! For 52, Jimmy Smits is muy caliente. Check out what Stephen Colbert had to say about Smits on his show.
NCIS: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 25, 2007
I missed the season premiere. Oh, well it's a two-parter. Hey, isn't that Armand Assante!
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 25, 2007
NUCLEAR JIMMY SMITS: Watching Stephen crack up about Smits was worth its weight in gold.
RUDY IN ENGLAND!: Giuliani is one of the five best known people in America. Others include the Taser Guy, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! gent (I think), Hilarious Goalie, The G, and Dog on Skateboard.
TIP OF THE HAT/WAG OF THE FINGER: Weird, an all "tip o' the hat" edition, but thank you for Stephen's new entry in the Formula 400 series: Fjormula 401 for those of Swedish descent. Comes with his manseed and peroxide.
JOHN GRISHAM: It looked like he was getting a little ticked at Stephen for complaining his new book, Playing for Pizza, didn't feature any lawyers.
RUDY IN ENGLAND!: Giuliani is one of the five best known people in America. Others include the Taser Guy, LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! gent (I think), Hilarious Goalie, The G, and Dog on Skateboard.
TIP OF THE HAT/WAG OF THE FINGER: Weird, an all "tip o' the hat" edition, but thank you for Stephen's new entry in the Formula 400 series: Fjormula 401 for those of Swedish descent. Comes with his manseed and peroxide.
JOHN GRISHAM: It looked like he was getting a little ticked at Stephen for complaining his new book, Playing for Pizza, didn't feature any lawyers.
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 25, 2007
HILARY LAUGHS!: And boy was it creepy!
EVO MORALES: My new best friend! See, if we try hard enough, we can have an honest and fair leader who gets things done. Also shout out to the wonderful translator!
EVO MORALES: My new best friend! See, if we try hard enough, we can have an honest and fair leader who gets things done. Also shout out to the wonderful translator!
Monday, September 24, 2007
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 24, 2007
I can't believe I'm going to say this: Who cares about the rest of the show! Atone Phone (Press 2 for 1-800-OOPS-JEW Press 1 for 1-800-MOPS-KEY) messages!
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 24, 2007
"AhmadineMinute: I did not mean to have a link. The president of Iran (I won't bother spelling his name) spoke at Columbia University Monday. Oh, boy did he deliver. Denying the Holocaust and gays in Iran!
CLUSTERF&*K TO THE WHITE HOUSE: All you need to know: "Okay shoot you later, 9/11!"
BUCK HENRY: My God, he right. He does look better before he had kids. Trust me, find the video.
JOHN BOWE: Whoops, missed it.
CLUSTERF&*K TO THE WHITE HOUSE: All you need to know: "Okay shoot you later, 9/11!"
BUCK HENRY: My God, he right. He does look better before he had kids. Trust me, find the video.
JOHN BOWE: Whoops, missed it.
JOURNEYMAN: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
Premise: Some dude can travel through time. Along the way he sees his dead fiancee and is tempted to rekindle their romance much to chagrin of present-day wife. Awkward!
HEROES: SEASON 2 PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
When we last left our Heroes, Hiro wound up in 17th century Japan, Matt was shot, Sylar was dead, and Nathan helped little bro Peter from blowing up the world. Now four months later, Matt recovered, divorced, and living in NYC with Mondihar and the duo are playing "My Two Dads" with little orphan Molly. Nathan is bearded and who knows where. Hiro is having hilarious adventures in Japan. Peter turned up in Ireland with amnesia and a haircut that makes him look smoking hot! Oh my God, someone killed Sulu, I mean Hiro's dad!
CHUCK: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
That damn NBC said the Chuck pilot was online, but all I got was a 2 minute recap!
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT: SEASON 2 PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
A couple talks about snoring. Must change channel before I start snoring...awww, crap! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
TWO AND A HALF MEN: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
The half man-who's name is Jake-started middle school. Also the guy affectionately known as "Duckie" gets beat up by a motorist. Only saw the last five minutes.
HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER: SEASON 3 PREMIERE-SEPT 24, 2007
Last season on HIMYM (got it!), Ted and Robin broke up. Now Ted goes through his post-breakup phase: growing a beard, repainting the apartment, something else, and ignoring Barney's attempts to make him get back in the game. "I'm not ready" he says, until Robin arrives from Argentina with Gael (not pronounced Kyle or girl) who looks a lot like Enrique Iglesias. NOW Ted is ready. After a disastrous date with Amy (Mandy Moore)-complete with a butterfly tattoo, Ted confronts Robin about "winning" the breakup. Not to worry though, because Ted's "bigger."
The two much hyped guest stars did okay. I didn't buy Mandy Moore as a bad girl. Dressing like one will only get you so far. Enrique Iglesias fared better. All he had to do was to stand there and look hot. Which he did excellently! Now take your shirt off in the next episode!
Oh, and the Slap Bet Countdown has begun. Watch out, Swarley!
The two much hyped guest stars did okay. I didn't buy Mandy Moore as a bad girl. Dressing like one will only get you so far. Enrique Iglesias fared better. All he had to do was to stand there and look hot. Which he did excellently! Now take your shirt off in the next episode!
Oh, and the Slap Bet Countdown has begun. Watch out, Swarley!
SHARK: SEASON 2 PREMIERE-SEPT 23, 2007
The season premiere of Shark taught the audience a valuable lesson: DON'T SCREW WITH THE RUSSIAN MAFIA. They will kill you then bring you back to life so they can kill you again. Or just cut your head off and place it in the middle of a park.
COLD CASE: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 23, 2007
I watched part of the episode and what the hell is up with the main character's hair! Good God!!
FAMILY GUY: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 23, 2007
After all the hype, Family Guy's tribute to Star Wars finally premiered. First, I need to make a confession-I haven't seen Star Wars. Or The Empire Strikes Back or Return of the Jedi or The Phantom Menace (according to fans, I dodged a bullet). It was an odd show; the characters were not called by their actual names (on the series), but by their Star Wars names:
Peter-Han Solo
Lois-Princess Leia
Chris-Luke Skywalker
Obi Wan-Grandpa?
Stewie-Darth Vader
Brian-Chewbacca
Cleveland-R2D2
Quagmire-C3PO
Meg-Snake? (Poor Meg always gets the shaft)
Most of the episode was Meh, because I already saw the Robot Chicken special three months ago. It was better
Peter-Han Solo
Lois-Princess Leia
Chris-Luke Skywalker
Obi Wan-Grandpa?
Stewie-Darth Vader
Brian-Chewbacca
Cleveland-R2D2
Quagmire-C3PO
Meg-Snake? (Poor Meg always gets the shaft)
Most of the episode was Meh, because I already saw the Robot Chicken special three months ago. It was better
KING OF THE HILL: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT 23, 2007
I haven't seen a single episode so why start now? Okay I did watch the opening credits.
THE SIMPSONS: SEASON 19 PREMIERE-SEPT 23, 2007
Can you believe this show has been on for 19 years?! I remember when the first episode premiered on my 7th birthday. All right enough reminiscing on to the show
Great opening with the reconstruction of Springfield which was destroyed in The Simpsons Movie. Including the (final?) appearance of Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. Homer saved the life of Mr. Burns after the latter nearly drowned in a mall fountain. As a reward, Homer was invited to have dinner with his boss in his corporate jet. Homer loves the experience so much he tries to find a job which would have access to the lifestyle. Seeing her husband so depressed, Marge hires a life coach (Stephen Colbert!) to help Homer land his dream job. Alas, he fails, but doesn't tell his family. It ends with a wacky ending of Homer landing a plane.
Overall, not a bad episode. People keep complaining how The Simpsons has lacked its earlier quality and heart, but I think what do you expect after 19 years? At least it's still somewhat funny. That's okay in my book.
Great opening with the reconstruction of Springfield which was destroyed in The Simpsons Movie. Including the (final?) appearance of Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig. Homer saved the life of Mr. Burns after the latter nearly drowned in a mall fountain. As a reward, Homer was invited to have dinner with his boss in his corporate jet. Homer loves the experience so much he tries to find a job which would have access to the lifestyle. Seeing her husband so depressed, Marge hires a life coach (Stephen Colbert!) to help Homer land his dream job. Alas, he fails, but doesn't tell his family. It ends with a wacky ending of Homer landing a plane.
Overall, not a bad episode. People keep complaining how The Simpsons has lacked its earlier quality and heart, but I think what do you expect after 19 years? At least it's still somewhat funny. That's okay in my book.
GOSSIP GIRL: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT 19, 2007
I tried to watch Gossip Girl, but the timing didn't work out. However the folks on Best Week Ever told me all I ever need to know about the show: one-dimensional character Chuck. Attempted date raping is his hobby-twice in the pilot! So, thank you BWE because I'll never have to watch this show again!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 20, 2007
LAST CHANCE: To atone your sins! I don't have to call since I'm Catholic, but a rabbi did because he had been stealing some of Stephen's material for his sermons. I don't know if it's in the law books, but that may be treason.
SIR DWD: This young man wrote on his blog that Stephen didn't realize that people at the University of Florida were protesting the tasering of the Brah!! guy, but were TOLD by the police to knock it off, so they did.
THE WORD IS...MARKET FORCES: Oh, Blackwater. You crazy kids shooting civilians in Iraq!
THREATDOWN!: 5. Salad!
4. Slavic Sex!-oh, Stephen don't tease me with your Barry Whiter DVD!
3. El Chupacabra!
2. The Bingham Company!-They think bears comfort babies! WRONG!
1. US-WHAT?!!
JEFF TOOBIN: I already saw Toobin promote "The Nine" on TDS last month. Although the fact that Scalia used to carry a rifle on the subway is quite a shock to discover. Why is this man on the Supreme Court?
THE CRAZIEST FU#%ING THING I'VE EVER HEARD: Mayonnaise Margarita??!! BLECH!!
SIR DWD: This young man wrote on his blog that Stephen didn't realize that people at the University of Florida were protesting the tasering of the Brah!! guy, but were TOLD by the police to knock it off, so they did.
THE WORD IS...MARKET FORCES: Oh, Blackwater. You crazy kids shooting civilians in Iraq!
THREATDOWN!: 5. Salad!
4. Slavic Sex!-oh, Stephen don't tease me with your Barry Whiter DVD!
3. El Chupacabra!
2. The Bingham Company!-They think bears comfort babies! WRONG!
1. US-WHAT?!!
JEFF TOOBIN: I already saw Toobin promote "The Nine" on TDS last month. Although the fact that Scalia used to carry a rifle on the subway is quite a shock to discover. Why is this man on the Supreme Court?
THE CRAZIEST FU#%ING THING I'VE EVER HEARD: Mayonnaise Margarita??!! BLECH!!
THE DAILY SHOW : SEPTEMBER 20, 2007
MANDELA'S DEAD??!!!!!: Whew! False alarm. Bushie, READ YOUR CARDS!
THOSE CRAZY KIDS, ACTUALLY ADULTS: Kid Nation premiered the previous night and I didn't watch it. Because what parent would let their child spend forty days and nights by themselves?! Oh, right these parents would.
BILL CLINTON: Dear God, please let Bill Clinton get back into the White House. Imagine what he can do as First Gentleman
THOSE CRAZY KIDS, ACTUALLY ADULTS: Kid Nation premiered the previous night and I didn't watch it. Because what parent would let their child spend forty days and nights by themselves?! Oh, right these parents would.
BILL CLINTON: Dear God, please let Bill Clinton get back into the White House. Imagine what he can do as First Gentleman
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 19, 2007
ED ASNER AND THE ATONE PHONE: Note to self-Ed Asner HATES spunk.
THE WORD IS...SOLITARITY: Stephen's right(in his subtle way), kids are hiding behind their blogs and online posts. Let's face it, my generation are passive pussies.
COLBERT PLATINUM: The Green Edition. I had the special credit card so I could view this segment. If I may talk to the rich for one second; I think you mean well by going "green", but creating a $50000? Louis Vitton purse created out of other LV purses is not going to cut it.
NAOMI WOLF: She made a good argument. The U.S. is in danger of becoming a fascist nation.
THE WORD IS...SOLITARITY: Stephen's right(in his subtle way), kids are hiding behind their blogs and online posts. Let's face it, my generation are passive pussies.
COLBERT PLATINUM: The Green Edition. I had the special credit card so I could view this segment. If I may talk to the rich for one second; I think you mean well by going "green", but creating a $50000? Louis Vitton purse created out of other LV purses is not going to cut it.
NAOMI WOLF: She made a good argument. The U.S. is in danger of becoming a fascist nation.
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 19, 2007
DON'T TASER ME BRAH!!: The best part is watching all the other kids stand by and do nothing.
PARTY LIKE IT'S 1994!: With all this O.J. news, it's like 1994 again. So if it is 1994, that means I'm 11 years old and in middle school, right?
OH, LARRY!: Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore has spoken: It is okay for African-Americans to say O.J. is guilty. Karma's a bitch!
GEN. WESLEY CLARK: I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to this interview.
CHECK-IN: Stephen would never hurt a baby!
PARTY LIKE IT'S 1994!: With all this O.J. news, it's like 1994 again. So if it is 1994, that means I'm 11 years old and in middle school, right?
OH, LARRY!: Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore has spoken: It is okay for African-Americans to say O.J. is guilty. Karma's a bitch!
GEN. WESLEY CLARK: I'll admit I didn't pay much attention to this interview.
CHECK-IN: Stephen would never hurt a baby!
TIL DEATH: SEASON 2 PREMIERE-SEPT 19, 2007
Less than five minutes in, I changed the channel. I do have one observation-Mr. Brad Garrett, lay off the self-tanner, you look like a carrot.
BACK TO YOU: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPTEMBER 19, 2007
The highly, highly anticipated premiere of Back to You featuring so many veteran performers (Kelsey Grammer, Patricia Heaton, and Fred Willard), writer/creators (James L. Burrowsand some other guys). Of course I missed most of the show except the last five minutes.
The plot goes something like this: Chuck (Grammer) is fired from his LA news station after his tirade hits You Tube (knew that). He has no choice but to go back to his stomping ground in Pittsburgh with former co-anchor Kelly (Heaton). They have a love/hate relationship-mostly hate-and a one-night stand between them (I knew that, too) which resulted in daughter Gracie. Which I didn't know, holy crap!
As you can tell ending took me aback somewhat, okay a lot. This was not mentioned in releases. I mean are the writers going to go there, someday, I mean if the show lasts that long.
The plot goes something like this: Chuck (Grammer) is fired from his LA news station after his tirade hits You Tube (knew that). He has no choice but to go back to his stomping ground in Pittsburgh with former co-anchor Kelly (Heaton). They have a love/hate relationship-mostly hate-and a one-night stand between them (I knew that, too) which resulted in daughter Gracie. Which I didn't know, holy crap!
As you can tell ending took me aback somewhat, okay a lot. This was not mentioned in releases. I mean are the writers going to go there, someday, I mean if the show lasts that long.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
THE COLBERT REPORT: SEPTEMBER 18, 2007
Wow, I was wrong. Stephen didn't have a relapse, but he did have the Atone Phone (1-800-667-7539 or 1-800-OOPS-JEW). He called on the Jewish, no all Emmy voters who did not vote for him so we can find out where they live. Then all of a sudden, the not-dead Barry Manilow visited from beyond the grave to help Stephen remember that the Emmy is in our hearts. Then Jon Stewart called Manilow to make a play date with their Emmys. MANNNNILLLOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!
THE WORD IS...LET MY PEOPLE GO: A man named Thomas Hiltachk is attempting to get back at the "Man" by changing the way Cali's 55 electoral votes are dispersed. Uhh, dude, you won't be able to pull it off.
DIFFERENCE MAKERS: I forgot, where is the all-American statue of Nitro Girl located? God bless America!
SUSAN SARANDON: Sarandon managed to get Stephen to crack up for a second.
Best Line
Stephen: "You know Sean Penn?"
Susan: "Not in a biblical sense."
THE WORD IS...LET MY PEOPLE GO: A man named Thomas Hiltachk is attempting to get back at the "Man" by changing the way Cali's 55 electoral votes are dispersed. Uhh, dude, you won't be able to pull it off.
DIFFERENCE MAKERS: I forgot, where is the all-American statue of Nitro Girl located? God bless America!
SUSAN SARANDON: Sarandon managed to get Stephen to crack up for a second.
Best Line
Stephen: "You know Sean Penn?"
Susan: "Not in a biblical sense."
THE DAILY SHOW: SEPTEMBER 18, 2007
First, let's congratulate The Daily Show for its Emmy!
THE UNITER-O.J.!-Yes we are a nation divided, but who can unite us? I know-O.J.! He got himself into trouble again. Don't worry he tried to rob someone, no one was killed. THIS TIME!
THAT'S AL FOLKS!: Thank you for the Looney Tunes shout-out. I miss watched Bugs and the gang since someone (I'm looking at you Boomerang!) took them off the air. Thank you Alberto Gonzalez for embarrassing yourself just one more time.
IS AMERICA READY...FOR A WOMAN PRESIDENT?: I love the Sex and the City spoof. Starring Samantha Bee as Carrie, The NOW president? as Miranda, LaTanya someone as Charlotte and The Pick-Up Artist's Mystery as Samantha? No wait Kim Catrall made a cameo as herself. So did John Hodgman. They both got to dump a bucket of water on Bee.
ALAN GREENSPAN: I should have watched his interview, but I didn't. I was too excited to see Stephen's reaction to losing to BEEEENNNNNNETTTTTTT!!!!!!!
THE UNITER-O.J.!-Yes we are a nation divided, but who can unite us? I know-O.J.! He got himself into trouble again. Don't worry he tried to rob someone, no one was killed. THIS TIME!
THAT'S AL FOLKS!: Thank you for the Looney Tunes shout-out. I miss watched Bugs and the gang since someone (I'm looking at you Boomerang!) took them off the air. Thank you Alberto Gonzalez for embarrassing yourself just one more time.
IS AMERICA READY...FOR A WOMAN PRESIDENT?: I love the Sex and the City spoof. Starring Samantha Bee as Carrie, The NOW president? as Miranda, LaTanya someone as Charlotte and The Pick-Up Artist's Mystery as Samantha? No wait Kim Catrall made a cameo as herself. So did John Hodgman. They both got to dump a bucket of water on Bee.
ALAN GREENSPAN: I should have watched his interview, but I didn't. I was too excited to see Stephen's reaction to losing to BEEEENNNNNNETTTTTTT!!!!!!!
K-VILLE: SERIES PREMIERE-SEPT. 17, 2007
Actually I missed the series premiere on the 17th, but they repeated it the next day.
According to the ads, K-Ville is a groundbreaking show. It is shot in post-Katrina New Orleans. Good for them. Premise: Marlin (Anthony Anderson) is a NOPD cop who plays by his own rules (where have I seen that before?) since his partner left him during the hurricane. Now he is partnered up with a rookie (Cole Hauser) who is Marlin's polar opposite and has just completed a tour in Afghanistan. I can't leave out the Marlin has personal problems: his wife and daughter are living in Atlanta and don't want to come back. Oooh, I wonder what she'll choose!
K-Ville is another wham-bam-thank you mamn cop show. Although I have been a fan of Anderson since he starred in a NBC Saturday morning show called Hang Time. Aaahhh, memories. Getting back to business, I probably will not be watching, unless something awesome happens.
According to the ads, K-Ville is a groundbreaking show. It is shot in post-Katrina New Orleans. Good for them. Premise: Marlin (Anthony Anderson) is a NOPD cop who plays by his own rules (where have I seen that before?) since his partner left him during the hurricane. Now he is partnered up with a rookie (Cole Hauser) who is Marlin's polar opposite and has just completed a tour in Afghanistan. I can't leave out the Marlin has personal problems: his wife and daughter are living in Atlanta and don't want to come back. Oooh, I wonder what she'll choose!
K-Ville is another wham-bam-thank you mamn cop show. Although I have been a fan of Anderson since he starred in a NBC Saturday morning show called Hang Time. Aaahhh, memories. Getting back to business, I probably will not be watching, unless something awesome happens.
PRISON BREAK: SEASON PREMIERE-SEPT. 17, 2007
Welcome to the 2007-2008 season! I will watch and critique every series and season premiere. Maybe I'll keep watching, maybe not. Anyway let's get on with it. First off, the third season premiere of Prision Break.
The show goes like this: A guy named Michael gets himself sent to prision to break out his older brother Lincoln who is on death row for a crime he didn't commit (of course he didn't do it!). Mike has drawn a map of the prison on his body. He, Linc, and several other inmates escape at the end of season one. Season two: the brothers are on the run from the FBI. One agent in particular, Malone, is obessed with catching the duo. Later on, Lincoln is exonerated and Michael somehow gets himself sentenced to prision...in Panama. Now Lincoln has to free Michael. Whew! Got it? Good.
Also spending time in the Panama slammer with Mike are the FBI agent and a few other guys. Now, in this prision, there are no guards inside so the inmates are running the place. They have some activities like fighting people to the death. Linc is going to get Mike out legally, but those plans fall through and Mike has to break out again to save his nephew and lady. Yeah, those two have been kidnapped and will be killed if he doesn't break out.
Prision Break is a great show, but you have to watch it from the beginning! Or you will have review posts like this from someone who doesn't have a clue of what's going on.
The show goes like this: A guy named Michael gets himself sent to prision to break out his older brother Lincoln who is on death row for a crime he didn't commit (of course he didn't do it!). Mike has drawn a map of the prison on his body. He, Linc, and several other inmates escape at the end of season one. Season two: the brothers are on the run from the FBI. One agent in particular, Malone, is obessed with catching the duo. Later on, Lincoln is exonerated and Michael somehow gets himself sentenced to prision...in Panama. Now Lincoln has to free Michael. Whew! Got it? Good.
Also spending time in the Panama slammer with Mike are the FBI agent and a few other guys. Now, in this prision, there are no guards inside so the inmates are running the place. They have some activities like fighting people to the death. Linc is going to get Mike out legally, but those plans fall through and Mike has to break out again to save his nephew and lady. Yeah, those two have been kidnapped and will be killed if he doesn't break out.
Prision Break is a great show, but you have to watch it from the beginning! Or you will have review posts like this from someone who doesn't have a clue of what's going on.
Monday, September 17, 2007
PREVIOUSLY ON THE COLBERT REPORT...
- Stephen's cast is off!!! (Aug 23)
- Stephen runs out of pills (Aug 13)
- MONKEY ON THE LAM!!!! (Aug 13. 15)
- DNA: Could it Happen to You?! (Aug 14)
- Stephen may be Jewish! (Aug 14)
- That British dick Andrew Keen (Aug 16)
- The Colbert-Richard Branson trainwreck! (Aug 22)
- TEK JANSEN!! (Sept 12)
- Interview with Executive Assistant Katie Bruggerman (Sept 11)
- What do you mean kids get money for good grades. Forget this, I'm moving to New York! (Sept 12)
- The Atone Phone returns! (Sept 12)
- Wait a minute, that was Viggo Mortenson! (Sept 13)
P.S. Tony Bennett, watch your back 'cause the Colbert Nation is pissed off at you!. BEEENNNNNNNNETTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PREVIOUSLY ON THE DAILY SHOW...
Since I have not recapped since August 9...
- Rob Riggle reported from Iraq-really. (Aug 20-23)
- We were treated to Larry Craig's Trapped in the Closet complete with not R. Kelly(Sept. 10)
- Rob Corrdry gave a special report in a bathroom stall (Sept 10)
- PETRAEUS!! (Sept. 11-13)
- Bye, Bye Rove (Aug 13) aanddd Gonzalez (day after the start of two week break!)
- Kucinich' wife is really HOT! How the hell did he get her?!
TCM'S SUMMER UNDER THE STARS: PART TWO
And now for part two..
August 16 (Elvis Presley): Don't care, didn't watch any film.
August 17 (Maureen O'Hara): Much better. DVR: Sinbad the Sailor, The Long Gray Line, and This Land is Mine. Read her biography because it proves how awesome she is.
August 18 (Spencer Tracy): DVR: The Murder Man (eh). Watched It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World-hilarious!
August 19 (Errol Flynn): Even though he is awesome, I didn't watch any films.
August 20 (Rosalind Russell): Now my DVR has exploded with The Feminine Touch, Design for Scandal, and Tell It to the Judge. Plus watched the TCM premiere of My Sister Eileen and Auntie Mame!
August 21 (Gary Cooper): Seen most of films shown.
August 22 (Ann Miller): Missed films I wanted to see.
August 23 (Jane Fonda): What? No Klute?!
August 24 (Ronald Reagan): Watched Brother Rat and Kings Row. DVR: The Girl from Jones Beach.
August 25 (Broderick Crawford): DVR: Down These Dark Streets.
August 26 (Kirk Douglas): Missed Gunfight at the OK Corral for the fourth time! DVR: Champion.
August 27 (Loretta Young): DVR: Life Begins and The Doctor Takes a Wife.
August 28 (Roy Rogers): DVR cut off Dark Command.
August 29 (Mary Astor): DVR: Two Arabian Knights and So They Were Married.
August 30 (Buster Keaton): DVR: College, The Navigator, and Our Hospitality.
August 31 (Sean Connery): DVR: The Hill-hey that's Ossie Davis!
August 16 (Elvis Presley): Don't care, didn't watch any film.
August 17 (Maureen O'Hara): Much better. DVR: Sinbad the Sailor, The Long Gray Line, and This Land is Mine. Read her biography because it proves how awesome she is.
August 18 (Spencer Tracy): DVR: The Murder Man (eh). Watched It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World-hilarious!
August 19 (Errol Flynn): Even though he is awesome, I didn't watch any films.
August 20 (Rosalind Russell): Now my DVR has exploded with The Feminine Touch, Design for Scandal, and Tell It to the Judge. Plus watched the TCM premiere of My Sister Eileen and Auntie Mame!
August 21 (Gary Cooper): Seen most of films shown.
August 22 (Ann Miller): Missed films I wanted to see.
August 23 (Jane Fonda): What? No Klute?!
August 24 (Ronald Reagan): Watched Brother Rat and Kings Row. DVR: The Girl from Jones Beach.
August 25 (Broderick Crawford): DVR: Down These Dark Streets.
August 26 (Kirk Douglas): Missed Gunfight at the OK Corral for the fourth time! DVR: Champion.
August 27 (Loretta Young): DVR: Life Begins and The Doctor Takes a Wife.
August 28 (Roy Rogers): DVR cut off Dark Command.
August 29 (Mary Astor): DVR: Two Arabian Knights and So They Were Married.
August 30 (Buster Keaton): DVR: College, The Navigator, and Our Hospitality.
August 31 (Sean Connery): DVR: The Hill-hey that's Ossie Davis!
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