THE WORD IS...PREMIUM PACKAGE: Ah, to be rich. I would have affordable health care.
COLBERT PLATINUM: Finally, the solution to who gave the coral reefs herpes! It was polo horses in a freaky three-way with dolphins by some rich guy's luxury submarine.
SIMON SCHAMA: What a funny guy. He can't say the word "craft" correctly. Oh, you Brits! I knew Caravaggio was going to be mentioned after Stephen commented on how artist were such a-holes. FYI, Caravaggio killed a guy. He got off by painting his own portrait!!
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