NO WHITE CASTLE FOR YOU KUMAR!!

Note: Since 24 was a 2-night, 4-hour premiere, I decided to wait until tonight to recap. Kumar's got me pissed off!!!

On the season premiere of 24, Kumar was a teen terrorist who was taken by his friend's parents after his father was arrested for possibly being a terrorist. As it turns out, his dad had no idea what his son was up to. Anyway, our beloved badass Jack Bauer has spent the last 20 months being tortured in a Chinese prison daily. For the past 11 weeks, America has been plagued by suicide bombers in ten different citites. I bet this wouldn't have happened if Jack was around, but I digress. Anyway, a head terrorist has agreed to give up his boss in exchange for Jack. So he can kill him. Apparently some time ago Jack killed guy's bro during interrigation. The Feds and CTU boss Buchanan tell Jack that he has to die in order to save the country. Jack's okay with it, as long as he dies for something instead of nothing like said Chinese torture chamber.

Bad guys get Jack and begin to torture him when Bauer learns this trade was a set-up. The terrorist Fayed tells Jack he is behind the attacks and thought why not kill two birds with one stone. Back in sunny LA, Kumar has taken his buddy and parents hostage. Since Kumar cannot deliver a important package to destination, he gets his friend's dad to take it. Meanwhile in DC, David Palmer's kid brother Wayne is now Prez and no one lets poor Wayne forget how great big brother was. He winds up ordering suspected terrorists interned in prison camps. One who is imprisoned is his sister's boyfriend, a good friend of the ACLU. To wrap this up(this is just for night one), Jack eats through man's throat, saves the "good" terrorist who really wants to make peace, and informs CTU and the president of the double-cross. WHEW!!

Night two...Dad delivers package...Kumar gets taken down...Jack doesn't want to do this anymore...and oh yeah,...they F@%#*G nuked LA!!!!!!!!!!...AND THERE'S FOUR MORE(NUKES)!!!!

I know night two was a cop-out, but they NUKED LA!! Take a while and comprehend this! My mom watched this show for the first time tonight and she couldn't handle it!!!!