ABOUT TIME!:  Barry Bonds hit home run 756.  Everyone knew it happened including Rob Riggle who had a pretty adventurous weekend full of coyotes and other things.  What the hell happened out there Riggle!  I want to know!
MESS O'POTAMIA:  Our dear government lost nearly 200,000 weapons.  Everytime I think they cannot get any dumber, they surprise me.
THE HENRY STOPS HERE:  Awesome, Buck Henry reporting about Rupert Murdoch's purchase of the Wall Street Journal!  He was right about Murdoch being a nice guy because if anyone tried to criticize Pulitzer or Hearst, they would be beaten to death with their mother's bodies!
JOE BIDEN:  That Tulane joke was a little harsh, man.
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